People call me Rosie or Erika. I'm 18 and I'm afraid of starfishes, so be nice and don't you dare use it against me. I'm lazy every afternoon and acting is my passion.
I'm a sophomore Biology student in University of Santo Tomas and I'll be a cardiologist or a neurologist... soon. I'll grab the limelight, win an Oscar and then I'll travel the world for the rest of my life and discover a cure for cancer. To infinity & beyond!!!!!!
The Emphasis of Adjusting
I’ve lived in Manila for three years straight now and I still couldn’t find the hang that I could perfectly fit into. People here are so diverse that you hardly find someone that you could talk to without having them to judge you.
I know myself and I know my way of thinking. Sometimes I judge people hilariously and my friends won’t give a damn. Sometimes I make fun of my friends and in return, they make fun of me and we laugh out loud because not a single fuck was rendered.
In the past few years, I still haven’t gotten used to the melodramas my friends in here feel whenever they don’t feel at ease. My friends, you can’t easily joke them. You can’t just possibly poke fun at them and expect them to laugh out loud because they have ‘feelings.’ Well I have feelings too. And my high school friends so do too. But why are they different?
I guess I’ve just gotten so comfortable at making my high school friends miserable and them doing the same at me that I tend to do that on everyone I thought are my real friends. We have various definitions of friendships. For me, real friendship is being able to be honest and severe to people and you not worrying about hurting their feelings. I think real friendships talk about maturity. About understanding. About staying friends with them even when a billion times, you think they have hurt you. Unintentionally or not.
With my subject of friendships here in Manila? I am emphasizing my adjustment because my friends are the some of the nicest, sweetest, kindest (except for Paulo, but he’s fun to be with) people you’ll ever meet. Me? Logically, I shouldn’t belong. I backstab people ( of course, those I personally hate, and my friends hate) I hate (self-centered people). I judge people. Once I caught a person lying, I don’t trust them anymore. I don’t give second chances as well. I mean, I do. But not as fervid as the previous one. In short, I’m not nice nor sweet nor kind. So, it’s on me that I need to adjust. I tell you it’s not easy.
Everyday, I have to think about what I say. If my hs friends usually ignore it, in here, so many of them go silent, don’t talk to me for days and then out of nowhere, I just knew it’s because of me. See how rough that is? They held a grudge and I do not know in what certain point of conversation I had started to hurt them.
Right now, I’m on the verge of keeping each day a sacred day. Like I have to remind myself some things are not good. That’s not me anymore. I hope someday I’ll have the guts to have the courage and let go. But it’s hurting me more than it’s hurting them. Or maybe, it’s hurting them more than it’s hurting me. I blame diversification.
I miss you already auntie! 😭 God bless! Happy trip! Have a great year in London before I see you again 🇬🇧🇬🇧
"I long so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things require effort and disappointment and perseverance."
Vincent van Gogh